Friday, March 30, 2012

Paranoid Frank is Paranoid

I've been over-thinking and worrying about everything in my life lately:
  • What if I'm not right for the roles I have recently been given?
  • What if, after summer, people that I enjoy hanging out with don't want to hang out anymore?
  • What if people start treating me differently?
  • What if it looks like I'm just trying to copy my friend, rather than being myself? (We're similar, it's odd.)
  • What if I don't get into the BFA? (I guess it's not that big of a deal, but still...)
  • What if I change?
  • What if the person I change into is someone who disgusts me?
  • What if I'm starting to get annoying to others?
  • What if my friends don't want me around them anymore now?
  • What if I don't get a new job for the summer?
  • What if I can't get over my confidence issues?
  • What if I start getting jealous again? (Oh yeah, my jealousy has gone down since last I talked about it.)
  • What if I lose control of myself?
  • What if the side effects that I've read about happen? (Different story, for another time.)
  • What if I'm not cared about?
  • What if I lose my friends? (If you can't tell, I've been worrying about friendship... a lot.)
  • What if I can't move out in the fall?
  • What if I'm overreacting?
  • What if something is wrong and I can't help it be right?
  • What if I end up looking needy to people?
  • What if I've been smothering my friends?
  • What if I never get a girlfriend?
  • What if I make the wrong choices? 
  • What if my negative thoughts and emotions are right?
A lot of these worries seem ridiculous, I know.  But they exist. They keep creeping into my mind, and I try to push them away, but they keep coming back...

I don't know what to do with myself.  I feel numb... and I hate it...

 (Sad I know... Not seeking pity with this picture...just... yeah.)

In other, less sad, news: Today I was told I looked hot. Twice. 


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