Friday, March 2, 2012

Nothing Can Ruin a Friday

I have a lot of things that have been troubling me lately:
  • I'm having extreme amounts of jealousy towards a good friend
  • My current friend-zone rate is at 100%
  • I'm feeling quite depressed
  • I'm doubting my own abilities
  • I have a terrible self-image
  • I'm still living at home
  • I'm lonely
  • I hate my job
  • Waiting for audition results is killing me
  • The initial confidence that I had at the beginning of the semester has vanished completely
  • I'm allowing my emotions to crush me
  • People make me angry
  • My older brother and I haven't talked pleasantly in over 4 months
  • Costume Construction
  • Girls I like end up being attracted to my friend rather than me (see first item)
Despite all of these things, today, I'm happy.  Why? Because today, this wonderful day, I get to improvise.  I get to forget about everything that is bothering me and have two, glorious hours of performance.

Improv is my stress relief.  Weird, I know.  ("His stress relief is putting himself in a state of complete vulnerability? What a weirdo...")  Yes. Yes I am.  I like feeling that vulnerable because I'm never that way around others.  I don't show my true emotions to everyone all the time and I usually lock them inside of myself.  But not when I improvise.  I get to release every thought, feeling, musing, rant, and scream that I usually want to give throughout the week without any bad consequences.  NO ONE will judge it.  EVERYONE will love watching it. It's liberating.  And this liberating feeling: it's mine, and not a single person, no matter how good-looking, charming, well-liked, pretty, rich, kind, mean, unpleasant, passive aggressive, depressing, or talented they are, can take it away from me.

I love improv. I'm kind of obsessed.

 Improv is my chocolate.

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