Tuesday, April 10, 2012

An Experiment

I've recently been working a lot on a play called Body Image.  What's it about? (Three guesses...)

...body image. (if you actually took three guesses, hit the little red "X" on the corner of the screen, the rest of this blog is way too smart for you...)

I've been having a lot of issues with my own confidence, self image, self worth, etc...  And frankly, (love that word) I'm sick of it.  Now I know that this isn't something that I can simply just wish away.   So I'm going to try something.  I have a full-body mirror.   I am going to make a list of everything I like or dislike about myself. (Yay, list! Natalie, you have made me into a list fan...) I don't know how this is going to make me feel, but I just want to get my thoughts out of my head and out to somewhere.  (These may consist of just how I look or I may go more deeply into my personal thoughts that I like and dislike.... it's an adventure.)

  • I like how my hair looks right now
  • I like that I have a widow's peak
  • I hate how my acne confines itself to just my forehead
  • I hate how big my nose is
  • I hate my mexi-stache
  • I like that facial hair is making me look older
  • I hate that my cheeks aren't filling in and that I'm pretty much stuck with a chin strap
  • I like that I don't get a horrible neck beard
  • I think my ears, although slightly off balance, look good
  • I like how thick my eyebrows are
  • I hate that it could become a uni-brow without proper taming
  • I have nice cheek bones
  • I wish I had blue or green eyes
  • I wish I had blonde or at least lighter hair
  • I wish I were about a foot taller
  • My lips don't look that bad
  • I like that I can make funny shapes with my tongue
  • I can cock my right eyebrow... it's awesome
  • I hate how desperate I am for attention
  • I hate how thin my arms are
  • I need to work out more
  • I like that I have an x body shape
  • I hate that I bite my fingers into oblivion
  • I hate that I'm not muscular
  • I hate when I sit down that my belly wrinkles up and looks flabby
  • I hate that I'm not really that strong compared to other men
  • I love how fast of a sprinter I am
  • I'm good at being hard to catch (I'm like slippery or something...)
  • I hate my gigantic, Puerto-Rican, ass
  • I hate how weird that last item sounds being that I'm a man
  • My calves look good when I flex them
  • I need to tan my legs, I've been wearing jeans too long
  • I hate the callouses on my toes because shoes don't fit me well
  • I hate how rough my ankles are
  • I have a nice dark tan
  • But I wish I had lighter skin
  • I hate being 5 foot 7
  • I want a better vocal range
  • My voice is too high sounding
  • I wish I could get rid of the random scars I've acquired over the years
  • My neck looks good
  • I hate how awkward I make myself around girls
  • I love how easily I can make a friend
  • I hate how idiotic I can be to my friends
  • I hate how I've stopped truly caring for everything
  • I love how well I can perceive emotion
  • I hate that I've learned to use that against people
  • I love how funny and witty I have become
  • I hate how much I dwell on my past
  • I hate how jealous I get of people
  • I want to be more assertive
  • I want my own sense of fashion, not my older brother's
  • I wish I looked good in leather
  • I want all my dress shirts to be fitted
  • I want cooler jeans
  • I want a nice pair of running shoes
  • I want a pair of gym shorts that doesn't look weird to me
  • I need to work on my posture
  • My shoulders are really tense
  • I don't like the way I look
  • I hate how I keep saying that
  • I want to switch lives with other people
  • I want what I cant have
  • My teeth aren't that bad
I can't really think of anything else right now...
So... Yeah... I feel... a bit relaxed...? ....I guess...

1 comment:

  1. I love your list! "Now take what you don't like about yourself...and fix it!" ;) I'm so glad we're in this show together. You really are all those things Pay said last night at rehearsal. oxox