Insanity

I'm going crazy.  

.....No, seriously, I am.

To be completely honest, this summer has really (really really really) sucked so far. (there were maybe 4 or 5 good days) To start off, basically everybody dropped off the face of the earth the moment that May started.  I was expecting this. What I wasn't expecting was how isolated I ended up feeling.  I didn't really hear much from anybody. (I'm not mad at people for this, it was just... a strange shift)  And there was absolutely nothing to distract me.  I got a random text every once in a (long) while, but for the most part, I was stuck on facebook.  

I now dislike facebook.

I really hate it now. All you do is watch a fucking stream of posts and wish you were doing what your friends were doing at that moment.  It had become a constant reminder of how no one was around.

So naturally I've spent most of my time on it.

I get way too excited when I see that I have a notification.  'Maybe it's someone who sent you a message!' 'Maybe you were invited to something!' 'Maybe you just won the fucking lottery!' No.  None of those things happened.  It was a game request.  A fucking game request.  

Facebook needs to make a game that YOU DON'T NEED OTHER PEOPLE!

Also, I think that facebook made a HUGE mistake with showing when a person viewed your chat message.  There used to be the benefit of the doubt that people didn't ignore you, they just haven't looked at it yet.

Now I know better.

Now I know that I was just ignored. That pisses me off. It shouldn't, but it does.  It especially pissed me off recently.  I was given some possibly good information about an audition.  But I have NO FUCKING CLUE what I have to do to get it. All I know is that it exists.  I asked what I had to do. And the person has definitely seen the message... and hasn't responded.  It's driving me nuts. Really nuts. (Who told me of this  audition, and currently has that audition?  3 guesses.... I don't even want to say it. So I won't.) I just want to know if I really can get this audition or not. Is that wrong? (the answer is no... in case you were wondering)

So the other thing that has made me slightly crazy.  My older brother is home for the weekend.

Fuck.

He just knows what exactly to say to make me feel absolutely HORRIBLE!  I already have a terrible self image.  I don't need anyone to comment on how I'm not muscular, need a girlfriend, have only kissed one person, still live at home, et cetera, et cetera, fucking et cetera... (bet you weren't expecting ACTUAL LATIN in a blog post) 

Positive moment:  Less than ONE WEEK until Shelly and Selena get back to Cedar. 

...hopefully I'll make it.