Thoughts

I've secretly always wanted to be put into the Witness Protection Program.  (Yeah I realize your life has to be put in danger and stuff.... but still)  It would be interesting.  You basically get to start over. Completely.  You even get a new name.  I'm pretty sure it would never happen to me, but it's still something I think about.  What would I do with a blank slate?  How would I handle it?  Would I end up in a better or worse place than I am now?

There are so many things I want to change about myself, a chance to change who I am is well.... enticing. (I am grateful for what I have right now, I'm not complaining.  It's just a thought.)

There have been a few movies about people switching bodies, brains, personalities, lives, etc...  That's something else I've always thought about.  If I were to switch with someone, what would I do?  Well, I guess that depends on the person I switch with.  I can think of a few people I'd like to switch with..... eyup. (pop sound at the "p")  I heard a song (mostly because Josh never stopped singing it) about a guy who wanted someone else's life.  The song has been stuck in my head since... um... like... mid April.  Yeah.... So I've put a lot of thought into that idea.

I think what I really want is a change. Something that will give people a different opinion of me.  (It's odd, I know... most people generally like me... I don't want to be disliked.  Sometimes I just want ....different.)

Childhood

I can honestly say that I cannot wait for the day that I have a child of my own.  I love children. (In a totally not creepy way) There are so many days that I wish I were a child again myself.  Of all the things that I hold dearly, my inner child is the thing I protect the most.  Whenever I'm around a child, I'm reminded of this.  I think the most important thing in life to remember is to be a child.

Why? Why would that be more important than an education, a job, or making money? Don't you need that to survive?

Yes. Yes you do.  But being a child is more important, trust me on this one. I know what I'm talking about.

First and most importantly: A true child will never lie. (But kids lie all the time, they don't want to get in trouble don't they?) If a child reaches the point where they learn to lie, they are no longer in the state of true childhood.  Because the moment you learn to lie, is the moment where you start paying attention on how to please others rather than yourself.

Lying is one of the most idiotic concepts on the face of this planet. (I'm not saying I've never lied, you have to have done something quite a bit to understand why you don't like it... like eating pickles) The only reason we lie is so we don't get judged by others and possibly punished. (Punishment can take place in a number of ways: guilt, prison, sadness, loss of trust, etc...)  Why should we even care?  It was our choice, we should stick by it.  I was babysitting one of my neighbors children once. I was told that the little girl was not allowed to have a cookie until she had dinner.  Of course after about an hour of babysitting I noticed that a box of cookies was conveniently opened on the counter.  This little girl knew that she would be punished for having a cookie.  She had every reason to lie. I called her over and asked if she had one.  She gave me the strangest answer:

"No, I had four!"

Needless to say; I didn't punish her.  I was too perplexed.  This child learned that it was better to follow her wants and own up to them, not hide them.  That, I think, is the most amazing thing that a child does.

Second:  A child is the most talented improvisor that anyone will ever find. Ever. (or they have a really good imagination... same difference) Because they don't care who's watching; if they want to be a firetruck, then they are going to be a firetruck dammit!  I've been improvising for a while and still can't fathom how to truly do that.  It's so easy! And it's because they don't care!  I could have a flawless firetruck imitation, one that would fool people into thinking that I was a real one.  That wouldn't stop a child from saying his firetruck impression wasn't as good.  A child knows their abilities and how to best use them; so they never will compare themselves to others, because there is no point to doing that for them.   

I've noticed that the best actors, are the ones that do exactly that.  They stop caring about critique and just do their own thing. (I'm definitely still working towards getting to this point...)

Third: A child knows how to make friends trust.  It's a sad thing to know that people abuse this incredibly pure thing that a child does.  Children trust others.  They can't help it.  People are too much fun to not trust them and not befriend them.  When I was little, I went to a park. At this park there was a very creepy hobo.  I made friends with him. It was as simple as that.  We talked, and we had fun. (I'm not saying that everyone should go around befriending hobos but still.... there's a lesson there)  I wish all people trusted in this way, I think everyone would be a lot happier.

(Terrible? Yes. Hilarious? Also yes.)

Message In a Bottle

(Well, it's been a while, hasn't it?)

First of all: I absolutely love this song. (*Sings to self* Sendin' out an S.O.S... Sendin' out an S.O.S......) Don't know it? That's okay, you probably grew up in the 90's. (I did too, don't be ashamed)

I was recently asked to describe myself... using an object... (improv workshop....) After a good 56.7 seconds of contemplation, (I estimated the time, in case you were wondering) I came up with this answer: A bottle.

Yes. A bottle.

....I hold in a lot of my thoughts.  It's fairly unhealthy. I've recently come to a realization that I need to say what I really want to say to people....  Currently everyone is gone for the Summer, so I'm going to say these things on the internet, without using names, so I can keep people guessing as to who I'm "talking" to.  (I'll talk to actual people when they're actually around to listen.)

I've put the statements into categories, to make it easier.

To all the girls I have had or still have a crush on:

• I would drop everything to date you.  I've been saying this for 4 years.
• I like you, but I know we'd never date.
• Don't tell me that I can find some one, it's not making me feel better when I'm around you.
• I'm actually okay with the fact you friend-zoned me.
• You're a backstabbing, two-faced bitch. I don't know what I ever saw in you.  I'm glad nothing ever happened, you probably would have used me anyway.
• I'm a guy, you know. And I kind of fit those requirements you just told me.  .....nope? Not even gonna think about it? ...great.
• I tried doing the whole ignoring thing... it didn't work on you... wanna go to a movie?
• I'm not as good at that whole flirting thing as *ahem* others are.  So I make lots of jokes and get really sarcastic.  Sorry if I accidentally offended you.
• Every time you make a nerdy comment you become 10 times hotter. Please stop being in a relationship.

To my friends:

• "You seem really out of it today." Should be followed by the statement: "Want to talk about it?"
• When I say I'm not mad at you... I'm really not. But I will be if you keep being paranoid about it.
• If I ask to talk with you, and I seem serious, don't just blow me off.  It makes me feel worse.
• If I didn't text you back, it doesn't mean I hate you. It means that I'm a lazy person.
• I have ignored 3 calls.  It means I am not answering my phone today. Not that you have to call 11 more times.
• Thank you for listening to me.  You may think that you didn't really do anything, but you did.
• I am so incredibly jealous of you.... But you make me do everything I can to improve myself. Thanks.
• Lucky bastard.
• I'm asking you if you want to talk. If you don't that's fine, but don't get mad at me for not trying harder to get you to talk.
• I like the times where I don't have to say anything and still have fun.
• NO.
• I don't want to watch a movie with you and your significant other.
• You don't ever listen to me, yet you expect me to listen to you? Go fuck yourself.
• I lied to you. I'm really sorry.
• I lied to you. I'm not sorry at all.

To the general population:

• I have given up on people. Thank you man kind.
• I've stopped really caring about things... and that terrifies me.
• (Flips the Bird) SCREW YOU STARLIGHT MOUNTAIN THEATRE!!!
• Give me ALL the attention!
• I have very much begun to hate people. Thanks again man kind.

 There's a few more things I would like to say... but I think I'll keep them inside just a bit longer.

(Look up this song. It's catchy.)