Thoughts

I've secretly always wanted to be put into the Witness Protection Program.  (Yeah I realize your life has to be put in danger and stuff.... but still)  It would be interesting.  You basically get to start over. Completely.  You even get a new name.  I'm pretty sure it would never happen to me, but it's still something I think about.  What would I do with a blank slate?  How would I handle it?  Would I end up in a better or worse place than I am now?

There are so many things I want to change about myself, a chance to change who I am is well.... enticing. (I am grateful for what I have right now, I'm not complaining.  It's just a thought.)

There have been a few movies about people switching bodies, brains, personalities, lives, etc...  That's something else I've always thought about.  If I were to switch with someone, what would I do?  Well, I guess that depends on the person I switch with.  I can think of a few people I'd like to switch with..... eyup. (pop sound at the "p")  I heard a song (mostly because Josh never stopped singing it) about a guy who wanted someone else's life.  The song has been stuck in my head since... um... like... mid April.  Yeah.... So I've put a lot of thought into that idea.

I think what I really want is a change. Something that will give people a different opinion of me.  (It's odd, I know... most people generally like me... I don't want to be disliked.  Sometimes I just want ....different.)

Melancholy: Better Than You May Think

I have found a new place that I can be alone with my thoughts.  It lets me be in my melancholy mood.  I don't usually let others see this mood. I'm usually highly energetic, always laughing and poking fun at life.  So when I get in this mood others act really strange around me.

Believe me when I say this: I like this mood.

When I'm feeling melancholy, I delve into my imagination.  Further than I ever usually go.  I can't stay in this mode too long because it is depressing.  I tend to wish my false reality that I dream up would come true... But it would never happen... But I love the fact that it exists in my head.  When I become melancholy I allow myself to just let go of reality, just for a little while, and be exactly what I want to be.

Others don't understand it. I don't expect them to

.

I know that if I stay in this state too long, it can be incredibly unhealthy.  So I've singled out my melancholy to one specific spot.  I think it fits for me, considering it's an area where almost nothing but imagination can take place.

If you find it, and find me there, you're welcome to stay. Just know I'll act different.

It is a sad mood; sometimes I just want to be sad.

(Look up this personality type, it explains me and exactly what I'm talking about)